worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i dont even know how to be here
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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