I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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