a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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