Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
