One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she smelled like a LAN party
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
