The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
