Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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