bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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