For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Your penis caused this!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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