he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
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So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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