Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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