Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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