Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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