we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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