woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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