my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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