Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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