"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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