Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize