either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just tell him i said nine months
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize