Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
