Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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