me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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