im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
