Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
