the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
