well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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