Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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