The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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