So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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