Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
