did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
