How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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