It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want to fling myself into the sun
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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