They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
