I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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