so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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