I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
