i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
