The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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