Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
