You just made me feel so damn special
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
