I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
