Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
