hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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