Welp...herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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