it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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