Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize