sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
