I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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