Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
