So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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