How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
