im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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