so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
