john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize