There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
