take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
