Define "chronic" masturbator.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He? As in you personified your dick?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
