he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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