i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
